Just Be a Tree

I love autumn or fall as many of us call it. For 2020, the year that tried to literally do us in, it began on September 22 and ends on December 21. We tend to use ‘fall’ in American English, while “autumn” is the more formal term if you will. Whichever your preference, the word doesn’t matter. To me it’s a concept.

For many, fall is the time of year when winter is around the corner. The cold and snow is almost upon us, and that creates some anxiety. For others, it may be the stress of the holidays approaching and finalizing something they’ve been putting off for 9 months since their New Year’s resolution. It is also the time of school starting and that hectic schedule is now back in full swing: work, school, activities, practices, and literally running from here to there until you think there is no end in sight. All these things have one thing in common: stress. Fall can certainly create stress and anxiety.

I was one of those people. My fall revolved around the holidays approaching and work being so busy at that time of the year that I wanted to cry. And did. Many times. I was running or picking my kids up after school to dance, soccer, basketball, volleyball, band, theater, goalie lessons (thanks Annie that was you: participating in every sport you could), etc. on top of working. My husband was in there too, running and picking up as much as he could when 3 girls had to be 2-3 places at once. And our dear babysitter Connie was keeping it all together at the house and running as much as us much of the time. The interesting part is, it was all a blur. My mother used to say, “I don’t know how you do it. It’s too much.” I didn’t see it at the time. I thought this is what parents do: run yourself ragged so your kid can be a productive adult. If they don’t work hard at something and excel, how will they survive in this world? Maybe this was that GenX mentality: get an education, work hard (even if you don’t love that job, it pays the bills), have a family, and retire with something left as social security won’t be there for you (as told to me by numerous professors between 1983-1987)! Hmmmm…….sounds really fun doesn’t it?

So here I am, in fall. Not just physically in the season of fall in SWPA (for those of you who live here and know that means Southwestern Pennsylvania, or where you pay your sewer bill), but in the fall of my lifespan. Did I just say that? Yep. Spring took me from birth to maybe age 30, and I rode the wave of summer to 50-ish, and now at 55, I’m in the early beginnings of fall. I know for some that is no doubt scary. For me, I’m trying to look at it a little differently. I’ll explain.

As I was walked my dogs around this morning, I noticed the spectacular color of the trees this year. Some years, they are not so colorful. I don’t know the science behind this, but I am sure there is an explanation. In any case, it got me thinking. Be a tree. I said it. Be a tree. The tree graciously gives in to its fall color change as it knows in spring, it will be reborn. Its leaves will come back (well, as long as there’s no blite, but let’s not think about that now), it will stand tall, and create that beautiful lush, green landscape once again. It doesn’t give up in winter. It knows that this time will pass and once again, it will be back to its spring self. It’s fearless if you will. I will preempt this by saying, I’ve dabbled in forest bathing thanks to my sister Beth. She gave me a little book that I’ve referred to time and time again. It’s a little out there with concepts, but the general theme is: we can learn a lot from trees. They stand tall in all kinds of weather, their roots run deep to weather the storms, they eliminate all their leaves (stuff) before winter arrives so they’re at bare minimum, and then once that’s all over, they blossom in the spring with brand new leaves and/or flowers and lap up those spring and summer rains. I won’t speak of the hurricane and lightning and wind storms that bring them crashing down in one fatal swoop. That’s just depressing. Regardless, they represent fearlessness to me, and that’s what I am sticking with to finish out this hell of a year.

If I am examining this season a little closer, I can look at fall as a time to buckle down and finish the year strong or coast until spring. Both are viable options I guess, but which do I choose? If I’m going to choose fearless, I better finish strong. And that means, re-evaluating what I’m doing. What needs to change? What plans do I need to make for my rebirth in the spring? Am I happy with what I’m doing in my life or do I need a change? Fall is that time for me when I need to finish strong and get my game face on for the New Year. If I wait until the New Year, then truthfully, I don’t have much time until Spring. If I put that plan together now, then the quiet or sleep of winter will give me time to make changes, adjust, and contemplate so my plan can actually happen in the spring. Percentage of people who keep their New Year’s Resolutions: 8%? 10%? Yikes! That’s some pretty poor odds. However, if we start working on that plan a little sooner, have some more time to settle in with it, might we keep it longer? I don’t know. Again, I’m just rambling here, but I want to test it.

My husband and I have been saying since spring of 2019, we’re downsizing. Well, here we sit, in Fall 2020, and not much has changed. Yes, we had Covid-19 that put a major halt on things, but we should have accomplished a hell of a lot more in this downsizing process than we did. This process is not getting any easier as time passes. If anything it will get more difficult! Got to get ‘er done I say!

So here I sit , making lists, setting goals, figuring out what I want my rebirth if you will in 2021 to look like. The changes are coming, the big sleep of winter is upon me, and I have to use that last bit of color or energy to finish strong, so my rebirth in spring can happen! I’m trying to picture it: no weeds to pull, no excess stuff left, minimal upkeep, no obstacles, and ready to take on 2021 like a badass as nothing is weighing me down. Can you picture it? I want it so badly! Ha probably won’t happen, but a girl can dream right??

As this year draws to a close, I suggest, finishing strong, rather than just sitting back until the New Year. It really is tempting. This year has been such a bust in so many ways that it makes it super difficult to even plan anything in the near or slightly distant future. However, maybe it’s the perfect time to think about where we would like to be and start to put a plan together to get there. Then, if we’re thrown another loop in 2021, maybe we will weather that storm and not come crashing down when that wind hits us just a little too harshly. So let’s get to it kids! Think on it, write it down, start to put some ideas into actions, and get ready for that transformation in spring. Just be a tree!